Imperfect Dreamer
by coryfinnatic
Summary: Rachel goes to New York for a year through a HS scholarship program, partly for the wrong reasons. And after returning home and seeing Finn again, she realizes her original dream of being a star isn't as perfect as she always thought it was.
1. Chapter 1

She isn't who she used to be.

Rachel Berry is now a sophisticated woman, even further beyond her years than she was before. She'd spent the last year in New York City, working alongside the most prominent and talented directors and actors through a rare scholarship opportunity that gave her experiences no one else her age could ever imagine. She got to live her dream for an entire year, and now she's coming home.

When Rachel first decided to enroll in the scholarship program, she often wondered if she was really ready to travel all the way to New York and be on her own there, and if her reasons for going were too irrational to go through with it. And she was scared of being lonely and not being talented enough, but as a strong, driven girl, those fears weren't enough to hold her back. She'd quickly regained confidence, and now that she was leaving, she wanted nothing more than to stay in the city.

But there was also a part of her excited to come home. She'd left a lot of loved ones—her dads, and Mr. Schue and everyone in Glee club. All of them had become a part of her family too, and she was glad she'd get to spend one last year with them before it was time to graduate, go back to New York, and say goodbye again, maybe this time for good. All she really left behind were her parents and Glee, but that's all home ever really needed, and that would always be enough to bring her back.

The cab drove past so many familiar places, and the closer she got to home, the better feeling she got over her return to Lima. Finally, the taxi pulled up to her house, and she quickly paid the driver and got out, moving as quickly as she could with her heavy suitcases dragging behind her. And it felt so good to walk through her front door again, walking into her real home for the first time in a year.

She's welcomed by a 'Welcome Home' banner, a cake and her two dads screaming loudly, and nothing could have made her welcome better. They spend the rest of the night together, singing around the piano, eating Vegan takeout and watching classic films like "Funny Girl" while eating popcorn. It's the kind of nights she often had with them, and she really missed those nights together when away.

Around ten her dads head to bed, but Rachel's still too excited with being home to go to sleep. Bored with movie musicals, she decides to walk to the one place she never thought she could ever miss but had, thanks to Glee—McKinley High School. Even though she was surrounded by talented performers for the past year, Rachel missed the simplicity and pure enjoyment of performing with the Glee club, up on that old, familiar stage or in that small classroom they'd meet in every day.

The entire school is empty and mostly dark, but the few lights that are on lead her down the hallway to where she wants to be. She feels strange being there again, and she instantly remembers how insecure and lonely she could feel there despite being surrounding by hundreds of people every day. She passes by her locker, and a cold feeling overcomes her when she thinks of that painful day she was there last, but as she nears Mr. Schue's choir room, her heart swells with gladness, and a smile's able to form.

There are a few lights on in the room, and she wonders if someone's inside. She peeks in and finds no one, though, so she walks into the room, taking a deep breath and sighing as she does; this too feels just like home. She approaches the piano, her smile never wavering, and she wipes her hand across the slick blackness as she circles around it, looking around the room. Her eyes suddenly spot a piece of sheet music sitting on its ledge, and she sits on the piano bench and starts plunking out the notes.

"That's a Finn Hudson original, you know."

Rachel's fingers freeze on the keys and the rest of her body tenses when she hears the all too familiar voice from behind her. She squeezes her eyes closed, hoping he's just a figment of her imagination, but she knows he's really there. Slowly, she turns around and puts on a brave smile. "Finn."

He looks different. Older. Wiser. _Affected_, but by what she can't be sure. She looks in his eyes, and she can't see the Finn Hudson she left behind a year ago, but she hopes he's still the same goofy, playful teenage boy he was before she left. She wonders if he sees her differently too; the look he's giving her as he waits for a better response is one he's never given her before.

Her mind suddenly registers what he's said, and she looks surprised. "You…you wrote this?"

His eyebrows lift as he nods, a smile just barely covering his lips. "Along with others," he says proudly.

"There are others too?" She smiles in amazement. "I never knew you wrote music…"

"I never knew I _could_ write music," he chuckles. "But one day Mr. Schue was arranging a song, and I helped him and really liked it, so then he started working on writing with me. He says I'm pretty good."

"What's the rest of the group think of your originals," she wonders.

He shoves his hands in his pockets as he moves closer to her. "They kind of don't know about them…"

Her eyes furrow in confusion. "You've never let them listen to them?"

He squeezes his lips together and shakes his head. "Nope. It's kind of a private thing, you know? That's why I'm here so late. I come and write when I know no one else will be about to hear it."

"But why? I'm sure you've worked really hard, and I bet you _are_ really good."

"Yeah, but I write about private stuff…private _thoughts_ and _feelings_…" She wonders what he thinks and feels about, and then she tells herself not to hope it's her. "So let's hear you play it for real then…"

"Oh, uh…I don't really know how to play that well," Rachel admits through a laugh.

"Are you telling me you went to some fancy, important music school in New York for an entire year, and you still don't know how to play the piano? Even _I_ can do that now, Rach…"

She scoffs. "Since when is Finn Hudson so brutally honest?"

"I learned it from thee Rachel Berry…" he quips.

"Thanks, Finn…" she retorts, giving him a bit of a nasty look.

"No, no, I…I didn't mean it like that," he quickly tells her. "I'm sorry."

A smile spreads across her lips. "There's that sweet, polite Finn I've always known…"

He smiles in relief when he realizes she's not really angry with him, and he decides to take a seat beside her at the piano. He seems at ease sitting next to her, though he's really not, and it makes Rachel feel anxious too but sort of in a good way. She can't deny that she missed Finn over the last year, and having him so close—feeling his warmth and seeing his smile again—is making her heart beat a little faster.

She looks up and notices him staring at her, and she bites her lip. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just…" He hesitates. "A part of me just thought you'd never come back," he admits.

"Well, the program was only for one year," she answers, being quite literal as usually.

"I just worried you'd forget about this place, Rachel…forget about Glee…and not want to come back."

"I could never forget Glee," she tells him with complete honesty. "It means a lot to me."

She can tell he has more to say, but he decides to move on. "We didn't Regionals again this year."

Rachel sighs softly and gives him a sad look. "I'm sorry…"

Before Rachel can think, she places her hand on his thigh and gives it a little squeeze to signify how sorry she feels, and though he immediately tenses beneath her touch, he doesn't pull away. Still, his reaction jolts her senses to life, and she's shocked by what she's done and quickly pulls her hand back into her own lap, giving him an embarrassed, apologetic smile as she does.

"Uh, that's a shame. I'm sure you guys worked really hard and deserved to win it."

"Nah, we didn't stand a chance without you with us, Rach. Your talent always carried us."

She looks down at her folded hands, saddened. "I'm sorry I let you all down."

"You were off with the professionals having an even better time. We understood."

She looks up at, a brave and firm smile on her face. "I hoped you all would."

"Did you like it there," he asks. A part of him wants to hear her say yes, selflessly wanting her dream to be all she's always imagined it to be, but another part of him _is_ selfish and hoping it wasn't.

"Y-Yes. It only confirmed that that's where I should be and what I should be doing."

For the past year and even up until this moment that's what she believed with the utmost confidence and certainty. It's what she's believed all her life, until she met Finn, but she had faith in it again once he was out of her life. Now being with him, only after a few minutes, makes her question what her purpose is and what her future holds. He always was the only person who could change her dream.

"But I did miss it here," she wants him to know. "I missed singing with all of you."

"We missed you too, Rachel," he tells her, but he never admits that he missed her the most, and that's exactly what she'd love hear too. "Things were a lot…_quieter_ around here too," he laughs.

She giggles a little. "I suppose my personality is a little more flamboyant than the rest of the group's…"

"I don't think your personality's gay, Rachel," he answers with total genuineness, and she laughs harder.

"The word doesn't _really_ mean that, Finn. It means showy and colorful and…loud."

"Oh," he laughs out. "Then yeah, you're definitely flamboyant."

She didn't really like how that sounded but smiles anyway. "Well…I should probably be getting home, Finn. My dads don't know I'm here, and I don't want them to wake up and not find me there."

"Oh, yeah, I should go too. My mom likes me home by eleven." He pauses. "Do you want a ride?"

"That'd be great," she says. She doesn't mind walking, but she doesn't want to say goodbye yet either.

"Alright." He gathers up his music on the piano, and Rachel watches as he goes to put it in his bag.

On the drive to her place, things start off uncomfortably quiet, but then Rachel started asking about the rest of the group and how they are, which kept a conversation going. Finally, Finn's old car pulled up in front of her house, and Rachel pulled her seatbelt off of her, looking at him before opening the door.

"Thanks for the ride, Finn."

"No problem." He stares at her closely. "It was good seeing you, Rachel. Welcome home."

"Thanks, Finn. It was good seeing you too. And by the way, I expect to hear one of those songs soon…"

"I guess I could make an exception," he decides through a smile.

He did write every song for her, after all.

* * *

**So there's the first chapter! I'm planning on having this one be a few chapters at least, and I hope you all stick with it. Thanks so much for reading! Reviews and such are appreciated :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel feels distracted the entire next day, anxious and wondering when she'll happen to run into Finn again and hoping it's soon. And she hates herself for getting so caught up in her feelings for him again, but she never could resist Finn Hudson no matter how strong of a girl she is, so why try?

She wakes up with Finn already on her mind, and she buries her head into her soft pillows and stuffed animals, groaning softly in frustration. Thinking of him gives her a funny, familiar feeling in the bottom of her stomach, one she hasn't gotten in a year and one she hoped she'd never get again. But with one look Finn could make her weak, and even after a year apart, he has the power to do it all over again.

She tries not to think of the way she left things with him, but still, she wonders if it had gone better she would've felt better over seeing him last night. And being typical Rachel, she wanted to be prepared for their first meeting after her return home, not have it sprung on her when she least expected it. Always liking control, she was never good with surprises or doing things without rigorous rehearsal first, and this was not the easiest occasion to do without any practice or consideration beforehand.

And she hated how quickly her feelings for him could change. The last time she saw him she _hated_ him and was glad to be leaving, as it guaranteed she wouldn't have to look at him for a year, and she wanted it to last forever. But seeing him yesterday made her feel so nervous and excited again, and so scared and elated, like their past wasn't what it is, and she was right back in their first Glee rehearsal.

She sees his picture in her mind, and she can't help but note how handsome he's become, even more so than he was before. He would certainly make the perfect leading male her perfect leading lady persona required. And he _certainly_ seemed to grow up a lot over the past year. Writing music, expressing his thoughts in such an intimate, vulnerable way? She's sure the Finn Hudson she met two years ago would've never done that, and she wonders if their relationship will be different now that he's changed.

Rachel turns onto her back, staring blindly at the ceiling, Finn never leaving her mind.

* * *

Finn lies on his bed, thinking about the same thing he's had on his mind since he left school last night—Rachel Berry. He can't help but smile the minute she wanders back into his mind, and he never realized just how much he missed her until she came back into his life. She'd quickly become important to him, and he truly appreciated Rachel and the friendship they shared. She taught him how to love himself for who he is, and it didn't take long for her to teach him how to love someone else just as much.

But then she left him behind, and he was angry with her. Really angry with her. She didn't even tell him herself that she was going to New York; he had to hear it from the others during their first rehearsal of the new year because he asked why she wasn't there. He had never felt so hurt in his life, even with the baby drama and the betrayal of his girlfriend and best friend, because the truth was neither of them ever mattered to Finn like Rachel did. He loved her, and he thought she loved him too.

And with the anger and confusion, he thought he'd gotten over her over the course of the year, but boy was he wrong. Seeing her last night made him realize it wasn't over, and he only wanted her more.

* * *

Rachel sits at her vanity, primping her hair and putting a bit of makeup on as she hums a song to herself, feeling even more upbeat than usual. She'd gotten a text from Kurt a few hours ago, letting her know everyone was coming over for an end of the year pool soiree and insisting she join them. She of course accepted his invitation and immediately began preparing for her entrance to the party, wanting to look her best since it'd been awhile since seeing everyone. That, and she knew Finn was going to be there.

When she's finally happy with her appearance, she grabs her beach bag and hurries down the stairs to leave, saying goodbye to her dads on the way. And when she arrives at Kurt's, she's welcomed with the loud, excited greeting she hoped she'd receive. Everyone gives her gigantic hugs and wants their turn to find out what it was like living in the city. She enjoys catching up with each of them too, wanting to know how their year went and hear their personal take on how Glee was.

The excitement dies down after awhile, and the group separates into smaller one, most playing cards in a circle on the floor, Tina and Artie watching a movie, and some of the girls chatting about which male celebrities they'd want to date. Just as Mercedes finishes describing her dream date with Usher, Rachel notices Finn get up from the card game and going into the kitchen.

"I'll be right back," she announces to the girls, and they smile knowingly as she heads to the other room. She finds him pouring another glass of pop for himself, and she comes up next to him at the kitchen counter. "I'm feeling a little thirsty myself," she says a little nervously, smiling over to him.

"Oh, yeah…it's, uh, kind of hot in there." He smiles bashfully back at her

"Yeah, definitely." She takes a quick sip of her drink.

"So is it weird to be back," he wonders. "I mean, it's been awhile."

"A little bit. I guess I just feel a little out of touch with everyone," she admits. "It sounds like you guys had a lot going on this past year, even Mr. Schue. Apparently he's dating Ms. Pilsbury now?"

"Oh, yeah," he chuckles. "Puck caught them kissing one day and was super weirded out."

"I suppose sometimes it takes a long time to find that one person you're truly meant to be with."

"Yeah, sometimes." They catch each other's eyes, and Finn quickly looks away.

"So besides the writing, I haven't heard what else is new with you," she hints.

"Nothing much…well, I quit the football team this year…" he mentions.

"Really," she asks in surprise. "But I thought you loved football."

"I do, but I wanted to start giving all my focus to music. I'm auditioning for a scholarship at the end of summer, not just to help my mom out, but because I…kind of decided music's what I want to study."

"That's some pretty big news, Finn." She smiles proudly. "That's great news."

"Yeah, I'm pretty stoked about it. But I have to really work this summer with writing and stuff."

"Well, if you ever need any help or suggestions, I'm available," she informs him.

He nods and says, "Thanks, Rachel. I might take you up on that."

"Well, you always helped me with my dream. The least I can do is help you with yours."

He sighs and looks forward toward the counter, away from her. "Right…"

Rachel wonders if she's said the wrong thing, but before she can ask Puck comes into the room, clad in nothing but swim shorts. "I knew this party was gonna be too PG, so I got us all a little _pick_-me-up…"

Their eyes grow as Puck holds up a six pack of beer. "Who at this party's gonna drink those," Finn asks.

"Everybody, dude. Hell, Kurt _asked_ me to bring the beer," he informs his friend with little faith.

Finn glances down at Rachel for support, but she proudly marches toward Puck. "I'll take one."

"What," Finn blurts out. "Since when are you ok with drinking?"

"It's not like I'm at some crazy party with people I don't know or trust. What's the big deal?"

"_See_," Puck points out. "Even Rachel grew balls this year. And it's not like you've never had one…"

"I was just surprised everybody wants to drink, that's all. I'll drink one." Finn nonchalantly walks over and plucks a beer can out of one of the plastic rings. "Besides, this could make for a funny night."

With a grin on his face, Puck hands Rachel a beer for herself and leaves the room. She carefully pops the tab to open it and lifts it up in the air toward Finn with a smile on her face. "Cheers."

"You don't have to drink if you don't want to," Finn reminds her.

"If I was with anybody else I wouldn't, but you guys are my friends. Really, I want to."

"Ok, then…" he chuckles softly, hitting her can with his own. "Cheers."

A few hours, a couple dirty games, and plenty of beer later, everyone was having an amazingly drunken good time. Quinn even could've sworn she saw Mercedes and Kurt making out at one point, not that she was sober enough to trust her eyes or brain processing. Artie and Tina had definitely slipped into a bedroom awhile ago, though. And Finn and Rachel are locked away in their own room.

Rachel stares up at the ceiling, watching the fan spin quickly above her. Suddenly the whirling motion makes her feel dizzier than she already is, and she tightly squeezes her eyes together to get it out of her sight. Her hand grabs her forehead, and she feels tiny beads of sweat along the heated skin, her entire face burning up and flush with red. Where is he with that water, she wonders? She's so thirsty…

Suddenly Rachel hears him closing the door behind him, and he comes over to her holding the tall glass of ice water she'd asked him to get for her in one hand. She rolls onto her side, moaning in satisfaction, and Finn sits on the bed near her feet, offering it to her. She sits up, needing to rest her body against the headboard of the bed though, and she eagerly grabs the glass and takes deep sips of the cold drink.

"Mmm," Rachel moans, resting the glass on the nightstand. "So good…thanks."

"No problem," he says quietly. "So…still happy you drank tonight?"

Rachel shrugs. "I just had a little too much, that's all…"

"How much did you have," he wonders.

Rachel smiles and tries not to laugh. "I really don't know." For some reason, she finds that funny.

But Finn's not laughing. He sighs, shaking his head. "And that's really not good…"

"Spare me the lecture, Finn," Rachel groans. "I can't be perfect all the time…"

"Are you going to be rude? Because I'll take you home and let your dads take care of you…"

"Ok, ok," Rachel laughs out. "Calm down, Mister Serious…" She lets out a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

He smiles lightly. "It's ok. I just got a little worried…I've never seen you like this before."

"Well, you don't have to worry about me any_more_, remember?"

He glances away. "Just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean—"

"Let's not bring it up, ok? I'm _way_ too drunk to talk about that," Rachel chuckles.

He laughs a little. "Ok. Then what _do_ you want to talk about?"

"Hmm…we can talk about how embarrassed I'll be tomorrow," Rachel answers excitedly.

He laughs a little harder this time. "Probably, but don't worry…all of us will be."

Rachel stares at him and asks, "Will you lay with me," finally becoming serious. "Like old times…"

He looks down, conflicted over what to do. "I don't know if I should…"

In Rachel's drunken state, she doesn't understand. "You don't want to lay with me?"

"I want to…" He looks up, seeing her genuinely confused. She doesn't understand why he wouldn't. He thinks to himself, considering his options, before saying, "Well…maybe for just a few minutes…"

He slides to the head of the bed and, after hesitating briefly, cautiously lies down next to her. Finally, he lets himself relax into the mattress, but he continues to shift around. It's hard for him to find a comfortable position when he's feeling so uneasy, especially since Rachel doesn't notice his nervousness or have any of her own. But finally he settles, though he keeps space between their bodies and his hands to himself, crossing them just below the center of his chest.

His attempt of distance makes no use, though, because Rachel scoops her body right against his, pressing her chest into his arm and resting her head on his shoulder. She tucks one hand beneath her body and the other between hers and his, using every last thread of common sense not to touch his chest, though she really wants to. She takes a deep, steady breath, feeling perfectly content beside him.

"This is nice…" Rachel sighs, fully expressing it only because she can't help being honest right now.

He hates to admit it too but whispers, "Yeah…it feels pretty good…"

"I'm really sorry about all of this," Rachel says. "This isn't how I wanted it to happen."

"How you wanted what to happen," he wonders, _highly_ intrigued.

"You, seeing me like this, and it's only the second time you've seen me since I got home," she answers.

"Oh," he responds quietly. "Well, that's ok. You've certainly seen me at my worst..."

"And at your best. But your worst is everyone else's best," Rachel jokes, shifting closer into him.

He chuckles lightly. "Well, either way, don't worry. I still think the world of you," he promises.

"I just wanted to at least look pretty for you, to make you miss me. But I guess that's stupid anyway."

"Only because you don't have to _make_ me miss you. I missed you all on my own…"

She tilts her head up to find him already looking down at her. "I missed you too. Every day."

"There are days when I just…" He sighs, not sure if he should admit this. "...can't get you off my mind."

"Well, that's good," Rachel whispers, her eyes lowering to his lips. "That's what I want…" Her arm slips out from beneath his body as he turns to face her, lying on his side with an arm scooped up and over her head to brace him off of the bed just slightly so he can get a better look at her. "What do you miss about me," Rachel wonders, reaching up and wrapping her hand around the back of his neck.

The hand resting near her waist brushes against her stomach as it moves to touch her hip, and he runs it up her side. "I miss this…" he whispers. "…touching you…feeling you…being close to you…"

"Yeah," she breathes out, the feeling of his hand cupping her side as it moves electric.

It leaves her so his fingers can trace the curves of her lips. "And these…I definitely miss these…"

Rachel closes her eyes as they skim the soft, pink skin. "Don't tease me, Finn…"

He moves over her body, straddling it with his thick thighs as he confines Rachel's lips in a deep, wet kiss. Her fingers pinch the back of his head as his tongue impatiently buries into her hot mouth, tasting the remnants of alcohol still lingering inside as it traces around her own. He presses his hip into her, and she moans at how hard he's already grown, but when she thrusts into him he realizes what he's doing.

"Wait, wait…" he says breathlessly, tearing his lips away from hers, and he can't get off of the bed and away from her any faster. He grabs the back his neck out of nervousness and looks down as he starts to rub the tense skin. "We're not together anymore…we can't do this…" He takes a deep, cleansing breath to try and calm down. "This is why I didn't want to lay down…" he says, more to himself than to Rachel.

"Why," Rachel asks. "Because you'd have the guts to do what you want with me for once?"

His hand falls back to his side as he looks up at her. "This isn't what I want," he claims.

"Really…" she wonders, and when he doesn't answer, she climbs off the bed and make her way over to him. "I'm not sure I believe that, because from what I remember, you used to _love_ being with me…"

He presses his lips together, trying to contain his emotions. "You're drunk…"

"And you're lying," she refutes just as she reaches him. "Don't you miss me?"

"Of course I do," he nearly cries. "But it's not enough to make me forget what happened."

He turns without saying another word, and Rachel wishes the alcohol was still clouding her mind; maybe then him walking out on her wouldn't hurt so much. But none of this would've happened if she hadn't walked out on him first, and she realizes now how much she'll have to live with that mistake.

* * *

**Thank you all SO much for the reviews, favorites and alerts! I've really loved writing this so far, and I do hope you've enjoyed reading it just as much. Thanks to that, hopefully I'll be able to post more much sooner than this time. Thanks agian :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I apologize for taking so long to post! I was writing this both at work and at home, and I kept forgetting to send myself what I'd worked on lol. Anyway, I hope it was worth the wait...enjoy :)**

* * *

Rachel peers into the doorway of the choir room, finding Finn at the piano with his back turned against her, quietly plunking out notes. She thought he might be writing today, considering what happened between them last night. She walks inside and softly clears her throat to announce her presence, and he turns around. He just stares at her blankly, and she's not sure what kind of reaction it is.

"I thought I'd find you here," she starts cautiously. "I thought we should talk…" He looks down and quietly plunks out a few soft notes, their sound eerily filling the entire room it's otherwise so silent. She slowly takes a few steps forward, but he doesn't look at her. "Can you please just talk to me?"

He purses his lips, and finally, like a reluctant child, his eyes slowly trail up to hers. "Fine."

"But I need you to want to, Finn. Otherwise we're not going to get anywhere…"

"I want to," he says, a little louder that he should've. He settles and repeats more softly, "I want to."

She can see the honesty behind his eyes and nods, as she takes her place next to the piano. "First of all, I wanted to apologize for what happened last night. I never intended to put you in an uncomfortable or hurtful position, Finn…" He glances up, catching her stare, and she looks at him closely. "…ever."

He shrugs. "You were drunk," he says. "You didn't know what you were doing."

"Drunk or not, I knew _exactly _what I was doing…" she quietly admits. "I just…" She can feel a few tears already starting to swell, and she had hoped she would've held on longer. It's hard for her to admit what she wants to, knowing it'll hurt more than it'll help, but she has to tell him, "I missed you."

And there it is—the visible pain she knew those words would cause all over his face. His eyes scrunch as his head falls, and she waits for him to ease into her confession. He pauses, considering her words and how he should respond, and finally he looks at her again. "Why are you telling me this, Rachel?"

"I just think you should know that. I think you should know that I still care about you very deeply. And I know it's hard for you to believe considering all that happened, or all that _didn't_ happen, but it's true."

He tries not to look at her, and he tries not to care about what she's telling him, but of course he does; it's all he's wanted to hear from her and know since she left. And although he tries to hide it from her, he can't stop himself from looking up at her and asking, "You really missed me?"

She smiles softly, seeing his walls finally breaking down. "Of course." She glances away nervously, most afraid to say what she has to next. "And you should also know…that I'm sorry. Even if I had my reasons, I never should've left without talking to you first. That was a horrible thing to do, Finn."

"Yeah, it was," he agrees without shame. "But at least you know that, and I appreciate the apology."

With a brave smile, she nods. "Well, I think that's all I really had to say…" She takes a deep breath and stares at him, but he says nothing. "Is there anything that you wanted to say," she urges curiously.

"Not really…" He looks away, and her heart immediately sinks, but then she catches the corners of his mouth curl up just slightly. He looks up and stares into her eyes. "I missed you too, Rachel."

She can't help but smile. "Look, I know we're going to have to work at getting back to a comfortable place together, not just because of the way things were left but because there's been a lot of time and distance between us. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get us back to a good place, Finn, because I want to get back there." She pauses. "I just need to know that you feel the same way."

She hurt him, badly. But he still loves her deeply and wants the same. "I do."

A relieved smile rushes over her lips, and Rachel instinctively moves closer to him. He watches as she comes over to sit next to him, saying, "So then you wouldn't mind telling me what you're working on?"

He wrinkles his nose and quickly gathers the sheets of music as he tells her, "It's nothing…"

"Come on," she giggles. "I have a feeling this is another Finn Hudson original…"

"It is, but it's not really worth hearing," he swears, but she obviously doesn't think so.

"I'm sure that's not true…I'm sure it's _great_." She catches his eyes. "Please?"

"I want to wait until it's ready," he says, looking at her seriously. "I'm just not ready."

Rachel easily sees the true meaning behind his words and understands. "Ok."

"I promise you'll be the first person to hear it though," Finn swears.

"Whenever you're ready, Finn," she answers, giving him a sweet smile.

"There is something I do want to show you, though."

Her face lights up again. "Really? What?"

"Come on…" He moves out from behind the piano, Rachel eagerly following suit, and he leads her out of the choir room and down the hall toward the auditorium. They enter through the stage door, and Finn starts explaining, knowing Rachel's probably bursting with curiosity. "I was helping Mr. Schue clean this place out during the last week of school, and I came across something I somehow almost forgot about…"

"What," she wonders, and he pulls back the large curtain, at the side of the backstage area.

"Remember when we did this?"

She sees their initials carved into the wall, with the then appropriate heart drawn around them, and she smiles to herself. Of course she remembers. She'd forced him to stay late one night to rehearse, and Finn said a few things he didn't mean too—the words 'overbearing' and 'uptight' might've been tossed around. His comments made her visibly upset, and to prove to her he truly loved her, down to every last detail—even those that drove everyone else insane—he carved their initials and heart into the wall.

"I remember…" she says softly.

"And do you remember what I told you?"

Her eyes still staring at the wall, Rachel runs her fingers over the carving as she answers, "You told me that if I ever doubted how much you love me for whatever reason, I should come here and look at this, and just like this is permanent and will always be here, you'll always love me and be here for me."

"And then I asked you if you felt the same way, and if you did, I'd add your initials…" They both stare at her 'RB' beneath his 'FH' for a moment before looking at each other. "Look, Rachel…no matter what's happened, I still mean every word I said and feel the same way. And the truth is, while you were away, I convinced myself that even if I didn't lose my feelings for you, I would never give into them or let you know about them, but I'd just be lying to both of us. The truth is, I _want_ you to know, and I don't want to just get back to a good place." He glances at their initials. "I want to get back to _this_ place."

"I just…I didn't expect this…" She knew he's never been one to be able to hide his feeling, and that he tends to share them unexpectedly, but _this_? "I kind of thought we were finished the day I left…"

"Oh…" He winces a smile. "No, I get it…it's been a long time, and you've probably moved on…"

"No, Finn; you don't understand," she laughs. "I thought _you_ were finished…but I'm glad you're not."

He smiles but tries not to get too excited without absolute certainty. "So...this isn't over for you?"

Rachel shakes her head and can't help but let a smile spread across her lips. "No…it's not over…"

"Cool," he smiles bashfully.

"But I think we should take a step back…rebuild our friendship first?"

"That's a good idea. Friends first; couple later," he reiterates before smiling nervously again.

Suddenly the phone in her skirt pocket starts singing, and Rachel grabs it. "Oh…it's my dads..." She frowns and looks up at him. "I have to get home." She rolls her eyes. "I still haven't unpacked my stuff, and they're not too pleased about it. There's just a _lot_ to do, and I don't really feel like doing it…"

"Well, why don't I give you a hand?"

"Oh, you don't have to—"

"I want to," he interrupts. "Come on…I'll walk you home."

* * *

It was a long walk back to Rachel's place, but it was just what Finn and Rachel needed. It gave them a chance to really catch up on their own and with the past was behind them, and they took turns telling each other about their year. And while they were so many things that happened to them they wish the other could've been a part of, both of them are genuinely happy for the good things that happened to each of them over the past year. That's what happens when you love somebody, right?

Rachel opens her front door, letting Finn walk inside first. "Haven't been here in awhile," he sighs.

"Same," she muses as she relocks the door. "My dads won't be home for a few hours," she mentions, and he nods. She then smiles, looking up at him earnestly. "So, um…want to go upstairs then?"

Finn feels his breath catch in the back of his throat at her proposal. "Ok."

He follows her up the stairs to her bedroom, Rachel suddenly making him feel anxious. They move in silence, and when they reach the end of the hallway, she opens her door and lets Finn walk inside first, closing it behind them. Finn watches her carefully as she goes over to her dresser and pulls out a tank top and shorts, curiously wondering what she's up to.

"I don't really want to unpack in a skirt…" she laughs in embarrassment. "…so I'm going to change real quick …I'll be right back, ok?" He just nods and watches her disappear into her bathroom.

She drops her clothes to the floor and leans against her sink, staring at her reflection with a nervous look on her face. She fully realizes the situation she's put herself in, and Finn too for that matter, and for a small second she doubts her choice of bringing him home with her. Here they are, all alone and in her bedroom, and she wonders if this is too much too soon. But Rachel tells herself she's making too much out of this situation, as always. 'He's simply here to help you unpack,' she tells herself. 'That's it.'

She changes and finally opens the door, and is immediately met with Finn looking up at her eagerly, sitting on her bed, his back perfectly straight and his hands splayed firmly against his thighs. He glances lower and fully acknowledges how much skin he can see now thanks to her change of outfit, and he swallows in an attempt to moisten his quickly drying throat. She moves closer to him.

"So I was thinking you could unpack the larger suitcase," she starts. "It's just shirts, skirts and jeans."

"Ok," Finn answers simply, and Rachel expects him to move, but he doesn't.

"Is everything ok," she wonders, easily noticing that he's feeling just as uncomfortable as she is.

"This is just kind of weird, you know?" He looks to her for understanding, and she nods softly. "It's just never been like this before. I've never been so scared to be around you, Rachel…"

"Oh…" She looks hurt, and he knows she took his words the wrong way.

"I just feel nervous, but you were always that one person I felt completely comfortable around."

"I'm nervous too, Finn," she admits, which already makes him feel better. "But it's more of an excited nervous. It's like we get to fall in love all over again and experience everything for the first time."

He smiles softly. "I never thought of it that way."

"I think we've both changed a lot," she's sure. "But I want to get to know the new Finn Hudson."

"I want to know you too," he answers. He stares up her longingly and whispers, "Rachel?"

She swallows, and her breath catches in her throat. "Yeah?"

"I still love you very much," he wants her to know, and she comes closer.

"I still love you very much too," she whispers.

She leans forward, and Finn instinctively lowers back onto the bed to make room for her. When his back meets the mattress, she climbs onto the bed over him, moving up his body, and she settles at his waist, her knees tightly nestled on either side of it. Her hands meet the center of his chest, as his hands meet her curved hips, and they pause to look into each other's eyes, both of them wanting a moment to study the other and take in this incredible feeling of being so close again after so long.

The longer they look at each other, the heavier their eyes become, and finally, Rachel leans down and kisses him tenderly. After a few slow kisses, Finn's hand meets the back of her head, pulling her closer to him so that he can kiss her with more fervor. Their mouths part wider, and Rachel feels his tongue slipping past her lips and teeth. He strokes hers with his own, causing the faintest of moans to escape deep from her throat, which only encourages him to continue his toying.

As their kissing builds in passion, their bodies can't help but react. Rachel can feel his jeans tightening in the same area Finn can feel a warmth radiating from her, and the more one physically affects the other, the more turned on they get themselves. Feeling how much the other person wants them makes them want this all the more, and before they realize their bodies are moving against one another intimately.

They want nothing more than to be with one another right now—to be exploring each other's bodies and loving one another in the way they haven't been to for so long. And even with their hurtful past, in this moment, there's undeniable, unmistakable love flowing powerfully between them.

Rachel lays kisses from his face to his neck, and Finn's head falls to the side, giving her more room. His eyes stay closed and his mouth falls open as his chest heaves with deep breathes. Every part of his body savors the feeling of hers, and he honestly can't think of moment he's wanted her this badly. Maybe it's the time part, but the skimming of her lips against his skin, the fresh smell of her hair filling his nostrils, the way her fingers squeeze into his shoulders every time she takes a deep breath—everything she does is filling him with love and making him want her so much he feels lightheaded and out of control.

"Rachel…" He licks his lips, and his eyes flutter open to see her lifting her face from his neck. She takes his top lip in a tight, wet kiss, and his mouth latches back onto hers. She has no idea what's gotten into her, though she imagines it's this amazing boy lying beneath her, and she honestly can't think of anyone she wants to be with more. The sweet taste of his mouth, the traces of stubble on his chin, the way his fingers squeeze into her hips every time he takes a deep breath—everything he does is igniting her soul and setting her body on fire, just as he's always been able to do even with the simplest touch.

She tears her lips away from his, breathless and needing air, and their chests rise and fall as they stare at one another with dazed expressions. They're enjoying every moment of reacquainting themselves with each other, but they have all the time in the world now. Rachel slides to his left side and snuggles into his body, her cheek against his shoulder and a hand on top of his heart. With one arm wrapped around her, Finn holds her close to him, and with the other he lays his hand on top of Rachel's.

"So much for being friends first," he quips, and she giggles against his body.

"We never really did start as friends, did we? We kind of jumped right into it last time…"

"Because I knew right away I couldn't just be your friend," he laughs.

"Yeah…" She leans up and kisses him softly. "I always knew you were special."

Finn sighs contently but wonders, "Should we unpack your stuff?"

Rachel only snuggles to him, answering, "Mmm, there's plenty of time for that later…"

He pulls her tighter, and Rachel closes her eyes. In that moment, she knows they'll be ok.

* * *

**I hope things didn't feel too rushed as far as them reconciling goes, and especially in getting to that romantic point again. But as I somewhat referenced in the story, I've always felt like there was never any BS with Finn and Rachel (for lack of a better way of putting it lol). They've always been honest and upfront with each other about their feelings, and they've always just gone for it with each other, so that's how I wanted them to be in this.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this last bit; hopefully I'll more ready soon. And thank you SO much for all of the reviews, favorites and alerts...they are much, much appreciated!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello all! I apologize for the second delay in updating...life's been getting busier and busier these days. Anyway, I just want to say that this chapter is definitely rated M...you've been warned :) enjoy!**

* * *

Rachel never realized how nice it would be to lay with a boy and hear his heartbeat. It seems strange to feel so moved by something so simple, but after being away from Finn for so long, she's come to appreciate every little detail about him, even the sounds his heart makes. He's still lying beneath her, sleeping soundly since they drifted asleep together earlier this afternoon, but Rachel's been up and listening to gentle beat of his heart for awhile now, feeling more than content exactly where she is.

Suddenly Finn stirs out his sleep, and as his body adjusts her arms wrap around him tighter. She moves her head against his chest, resting her chin on his shoulder to look up at him just as his eyes flutter open, and when he catches her staring, he wonders out loud, "Have you been watching me sleep?"

"Mmm…" She crinkles her nose and bites her bottom lip. "Maybe?"

He chuckles and pulls her closer to him. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because you looked so adorably peaceful," Rachel smiles. "And I like watching you sleep."

With any other girl he'd be slightly creeped out, but with Rachel he's curious. "Why?"

"Because I get to notice all these little things I love about you…"

One eyebrow rises as he smiles cockily, growing even more curious. "Like?"

"Like…" Rachel turns in his arms and slides over his body, placing her hands on either side of him and hovering above him. "All these little freckles on your face…" She leans in and gives the clusters of small dots along his skin sweet kisses. "Or this nose…" She gives the tip of it a quick kiss. "Or these…" Her eyes trail down to his lips, her favorite feature of all, and she captures them in a slow, tender kiss.

"I like yours too," Finn smiles hazily as she pulls away.

"I missed this…" she tells him quietly. "…doing simple stuff with you like lying bed…"

He reaches up and runs his hand down the back of her head. "I missed it too."

Just as they lean in for another kiss, they suddenly hear Finn's phone interrupting them this time. His head hits the pillow in frustration as Rachel rolls off of him, and he grabs the phone out of his pocket to answer it. It's his mom, and although Rachel can't quite make out what she's saying, she knows Finn's in some sort of trouble from the loud tone coming from the other end, and Finn's repeated apologies to her. Finally, he says goodbye and hangs up his phone with a defeated sigh.

"Looks like we both had crap we forgot to do…I have to get home…"

"Ok," she understands. "I should probably start unpacking anyway…"

They both climb off the bed, and Rachel walks him to the door. "My mom's pretty pissed, but I should be able to do something tonight," he tells her before giving her a sweet kiss. "I'll text you later?"

She grins and answers, "Perfect." Then, after one last kiss, Finn heads out the door.

A few hours later, after packing, Rachel finally gets the text she's been waiting for.

_From: Finn_

_Everyone's going to Quinn's lake house for a bonfire…wanna be my date?_

_Jun 2, 6:27 pm_

She smiles and quickly texts a reply, telling him 'yes' and asking for details. With a few more messages, they decide Finn will pick her up at 7:45, and Rachel immediately starts getting ready for the night.

* * *

The glee kids sit around a bonfire, roasting marshmallows and devouring s'mores one by one as they sing their favorite songs. To any outsider, it would probably seem like the lamest Saturday night ever, but this is what they did together, and even Puck's having a great time. Rachel sits with her head resting on Finn's shoulder, their hands entwined and sitting idly in his lap, and she stares out at the lake glowing beautifully beneath the moonlight. She feels content—a happiness she hasn't felt in a long time.

The song ends, and Puck takes it upon himself to start a conversation, looking over to the happy couple across from him. "So you guys are already back to banging, huh," he chuckles to himself.

"Geez, dude," Finn blurts out, feeling embarrassed, but it's not like everybody doesn't know they "do it."

Rachel sits up, asking, "Honestly, Noah, do you always have to talk like such a _pig_?"

"I think it's nice," Artie intervenes. "Things just aren't right when you guys aren't together."

"Yes, I think speak for all of us when I say I'm glad things worked out quickly," Kurt smiles.

They smile adoringly at each other, and Finn tilts her chip up and gives her a slow kiss. Her hand leaves his to reach up and cup his cheek, making his lips linger on hers and keeping him close to her. Suddenly they hear coughing from around them, and they immediately pull apart, their cheeks growing redder.

"God, it's great and all, yeah, but you're makin' all of us sick," Puck cringes.

"We need more food," Quinn suddenly announces, and she exchanges looks with Mercedes and Tina.

"I agree," Mercedes says. "We'll all help. Come on, Rachel."

Rachel goes along with it and follows the other girls into the house, leaving the boys to rag on Finn some more. Quinn leads them through the back door and into the kitchen, and as she starts grabbing food out of cabinets, the other girls sit at the table and get down to the real business at hand.

"So seriously, Rachel…are you and Finn really back together," Mercedes needs to ask.

"And if so, how serious is this," Tina wonders. "Because you just got back, like, two days ago…"

"And as far as we all knew, you and Finn hadn't spoken since before you even left," Quinn adds.

"Let's not even get into how things ended…" Mercedes retorts.

"I feel like I'm being interrogated," Rachel scoffs. "What's with you guys?"

"We just don't want to see anybody get hurt again," Quinn tells her.

Rachel looks down. "You mean you don't want to see _Finn_ get hurt again…"

"No, we don't want you to get hurt either," Quinn corrects.

"Yeah, Rachel, I'm sure leaving was hard for you too," Mercedes says. "But Finn was _devastated_."

"He even stopped coming to Glee for a few months," Tina mentions. "He said it hurt too much."

Quinn can easily tell how upset Rachel's getting. "We're not trying to make you feel bad—"

"Really," Rachel questions, her eyes wet with tears. "Then what are you trying to do…"

"We're trying to warn you," Mercedes answers for the group. "In a year, we're all graduating, and while the rest us will probably still be stuck in Ohio, including Finn, you're going back to New York."

"That is the plan, right," Quinn wonders.

"I don't know," Rachel says. "That's always _been_ the plan...but so what if I go back? This time I'll obviously handle leaving better, and long distance relationships can work, and maybe Finn _will _be able to move there. He hasn't told anyone else about this yet, but he's been writing music and is going to try to get a scholarship so that he _can_ get out of here, and maybe he'll go to New York."

"And we hope that all works out," Tina tells her. "We do want you guys to be happy."

"Being together makes us happy," Rachel says. "Even a year apart couldn't change that or make us stop loving each other, and I know I screwed up, but I don't plan on making the mistakes twice."

"Ok, then," Mercedes smiles. "Lecture over."

"Has Finn really been writing music," Quinn asks, suddenly realizing what Rachel had said.

Rachel cringes. "Yes, but you can't say _anything_ to him or the other guys. He'd _kill_ me."

"Don't worry; our lips are sealed," Tina giggles. "Now let's get this food out there."

Each of them grabs a few things from the pile of food Quinn had created, and they walk back outside to the boys. After putting down the bags of chips she'd carried, Rachel moves over to Finn.

"You want to go down to the lake for a sec?"

Finn immediately stands and answers, "I'd love to," and they exchange smiles.

Together they walk hand in hand down to the lake, and just when they meet the water's edge, Rachel moves in front of Finn and pulls him down for a deep, slow kiss. She'd be lying if she said the girls hadn't made her feel guilty, and since she couldn't talk about it, this was her way of apologizing to him again.

After she pulls away, he wonders through a dazed smile, "What was that for?"

"I just love you," Rachel tells him. "And I'm really happy to be here with you right now."

"So you're happy to be home then," Finn wonders seriously, and Rachel sighs.

"Finn, I loved New York, but…being there made me realize how much I love it here too."

He smiles crookedly then mentions, "So I know there's some extra bedrooms in the house…"

"Oh, really?" He bites his lip, and hers curl into a grin. "What are we waiting for…"

* * *

Finn slowly opens the door of a guestroom, and with Rachel's hand clasped around his, they walk into the room together. As he quietly closes the door behind them, Rachel suddenly becomes enthralled by the grand window in the room, which grants the most breathtaking view of the lake. She walks over and stares out at water for a moment, and she turns back around just as Finn slowly approaches.

"So…" she begins, unsure what to say. She knows why they came up here, and there's no going back now, not that she wants to. Sex—with Finn—for the first time in a year. A smile creeps across her lips.

"So," he repeats, Finn feeling just as anxious. Actually, he feels giddy. And Rachel thinks he _looks_ giddy.

"So, Mr. Hudson…what are going to do with me up here all alone," she asks with naughty innocence.

He reaches for her waist and pulls her closer, saying, "I have a few ideas…" Finn runs a hand through her hair before tilting her chin up. "You're not planning on going anywhere for a while, are you?"

"Definitely not," she retorts, shaking her head and being just as playful.

Her fingers tangle in his hair, massaging the back of his head as he glances down to her waiting lips, and finally he captures them in a slow, gentle kiss. His lips feel as soft as she remembered, but what she enjoys more is how they give just as much as love as they had the last time they were together in this way. With a few sensual kisses, he pulls away completely, and a feeling of coldness overtakes her body.

She can tell by the look in his eyes he wants more, and so does she. She takes his hand and leads him to the bed, and with a lazy grin Finn reaches out and grabs her hips again. She lets him pull her flush against his body, so close that she can feel his breath on her face as he takes deep breaths. Rachel looks down and touches just above his stomach, and as she slides her hands up his body to wrap around his neck, she slowly lifts her head to look at him.

She tilts her head a bit further so that her lips can cascade across his lightly, and his eyes close as he becomes intoxicated by the sweet scent of her shampoo, a scent he knows well, considering she's been using it forever. He instinctively pulls her closer and leans down to kiss her, but she doesn't let him.

He lets out a teasing groan, but she knows he'll play the game, even better than her. He turns his head so that his mouth hovers over her ear, his lips just barely touching the sensitive skin there. He breathes heavily against her, almost panting, the way he would in bed as he'd touched her the way she like.

His face moves lower, burrowing into the hair covering her neck, and he takes a few more deep breaths against her. He eventually begins to kiss her neck, tenderly at first, but with each new motion his lips press further into and capture more of her skin. She can't suppress a moan when she feels his tongue stroke a wet path all the way up, back to her ear where he first started, and she feels him smile.

"I want to touch you…" he whispers into her ear.

Her head falls back to the side, giving him more room. "Then touch me," she tells him.

She opens her eyes to watch what Finn will do with her now that he's been given permission to explore, and she almost feels like smacking the grin he has right off his face. It beams shamelessly, unafraid to let her see that he knows how good he's about to make it for her, and she hates knowing he's _so _right.

Rachel's hands fall to his forearms, which are flexed strongly from his arms still holding onto her hips, and his fingers squeeze into her sides as he effortlessly lifts and lays her on the bed. He slides his hands over her thighs, spreading her legs for him to move between, and now she's really open to him.

Finn's eyes never break their contact with hers as he moves, nor does his grin waver as he slowly lowers to his knees, and she grabs his shoulders for support. She watches him closely as he pushes up the flowing skirt of her summer sundress, bunching it up past her knees, making room for him. He still stares up at her as he twists her panties to the side, and then he wastes no time leaning in and capturing her nub between his lips.

Her eyes immediately close and her head falls back when she feels his warm tongue lick across her moisture, in the motion that could always drive her wild and straight to euphoria. He moves slowly then quickly, alternating his rhythm, and every so often he draws her into his mouth and sucks relentlessly.

A finger slips into her, and she finally lets him hear her moan—just what Finn's been waiting for. One of her hands reaches above her to hold onto the headboard to brace herself, while the other buries into the hair on the back of his head. Her fingers grip his dark locks as he does his treatment, making her feel better and more alive than she's felt in a year, since the last time he did this to her.

"Finn…" she moans loudly.

He thinks it's from pleasure, which it mostly is, but she also wants his attention. Her hand falls to his cheek, forcing him to pull away and look at her. "What's wrong," he questions, slightly out of breath.

"Nothing, I just…" She has trouble getting her words out. "I need you."

He was never one who needed to be told twice, especially when it come to this and with _her_. He smiles at her as he rises, but then he pauses and stares down at her. She looks into his eyes and adjusts herself slightly, as if to signal that she's ready for him to lie with her, but Finn stays still.

"What are you waiting for," she wonders through a small laugh.

"Nothing," he whispers, shaking his head slightly. "I just wanted to look at you for a minute." She takes his breath away, lying with the moonlight highlighting her most beautiful features.

"If you don't want to do anything—"

"No, I do…what about you? I don't want to do anything you don't want to."

She licks her lips, considering her words. "What I want…is for you to be in this bed with me."

A huge smile spreads across his lips—a sweet, content smile, and the kind she loves seeing from him the most. He lowers himself and carefully climbs over her, looking straight into her eyes as he moves across her body. He rests his forearms on either side of her, hovering above her far enough to not put too much pressure on her body but enough so that she can feel him against her.

She places her hands just above his elbows and slowly trails them upward, past his shoulders and neck, then back down across the scope of his flexed back. Still looking right at him, she unhurriedly lifts her legs up just slightly, so that her thighs press into his waist and her calves cover his. By now, they're as close together as they can be, except with their lips, but he takes care of that much for them.

He leans in, letting his lips fall against her, and as she runs her hands up and down his back, he trails his kisses all over her face. First, he kisses her temple, just beside her eye. Then a little lower, on her cheekbone. Then even lower, next to her lips, and finally, he kisses her completely.

It's slow at first, only because it's been so long since they've really kissed, but after the first, neither of them wastes time with gentleness anymore. Their kisses become desperate and hasty, both of them not being able to get enough of each other. She pulls him closer by placing a hand behind his head, to which he eagerly deepens his kisses, and soon tongues are added, Finn's stroking and circling hers.

He moans against her mouth, the sound echoing through her throat. He then begins to grind against her, letting her feel how hard she's made him, and her thighs rub along his waist and torso in time with the movements he makes. He's strong enough to brace himself with one arm, so he lets the other lower down her body so he can grab one of her legs and wrap it fully around him.

With the new position of contact he can really hit the right places, and she tears her lips from his, moaning loudly. With the break from their kisses his mouth latches onto her neck, at first sucking on the skin before licking his tongue across and nibbling it. He pulls away briefly, to gain a breath of air, and he pants heavily, his chest heaving against hers, but he goes right back in, not wanting Rachel to go a moment without feeling pleasure.

The hand pressing into his back lowers, so that she can lift his shirt up and off of him. When he feels that she's pushed it up as far as she can, he rises slightly, unintentionally pressing his lower half deeply into hers, causing them both to let out gentle groans. He tears the shirt off over his head with one hand, and before it even hits the floor he's back down, plunging his tongue deep inside her mouth. She loves the feeling of his bare, warm skin beneath her fingertips. Although tight with muscle, the skin still feels so soft. But she can barely notice it between his sloppy kisses and torturous grinding.

By now, they're both more than ready to really feel one another more intimately. He anxiously pushes her skirt up again, knowing he can't wait any longer to take time to further undress her, although he's desperate to see her nude. She too settles for him being half clothed, quickly undoing the buttons of his jeans and pushing them just slightly down his thighs, just far enough to get to what she wants.

She reaches inside, pressing her palm against his length, and he immediately stops worrying about her skirt. His head falls back, and she hears the loudest, most guttural groan escape from his throat. His eyes close shut and squeeze even more tightly together when she starts to slowly massage him, but no matter how good that feels to him, she know what will feel even better. She stops her movements only to push down his boxers, enough to set him free.

He looks back down at her and lets go of her skirt, brushing his hand down her heaving stomach, across her hips, and to her panties. They stare into each other's eyes, both of them breathing heavily and already moist with sweat due to how close they are, and he harshly pulls the cotton to one side.

"I love you, Rachel…" he breathes out.

She smiles and wraps her arms tightly around his neck. "I love you too, Finn."

With their exchange of promises, he lowers himself over her completely and slips inside. Air gets caught in her chest when she feels him in her for the first time in a long time, and his head weakly falls into her neck because he can barely handle how good it feels. He pulls out slightly, and then thrusts back forward, quickly getting into a fluid, pleasurable motion soon afterward.

He wraps one of her legs around his waist again and holds it there, to get that same angle he had early, and his fingers press deeper into her skin with each thrust. Rachel's fingers scratch down his bare back and up his strong arms, and each time he reaches deep within her, a moan leaves her parted lips.

Finn pants heavily against her moist neck, only making her hotter, but she doesn't care. She likes knowing he's enjoying it, and he likes knowing she does too. She tilts her head lower, pressing her chin against her chest so that her mouth is closer to his face. She knows how much he loves hearing her moan, and he groans and quickens his pace when he hears it right in his ear.

With just a few more thrusts, both of them finish, and she holds him tightly against her body, taking all of him and feeling all of him as he does the same with her. Both of them pant so heavily, their bodies moist and clinging to each other's as they come down from their highs. Without pulling out, Finn leans up to look at her. She senses his stare and opens her eyes to look up into his, glad that she can still feel him so intimately for just a while longer.

"You make me so happy…" he sighs. "Please don't leave again…"

She doesn't know what to say, not wanting to make promises, so she just leans up and kisses him.

* * *

**Not sure how much longer this'll be...I think just a couple more chapters. Anyway, thank you SO much for reading, reviewing and setting alerts; I really, really appreciate it :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Morning sunlight pours into the guestroom, stirring Rachel out of her restful sleep, and she sighs and snuggles deeper into the warm body next to her. Her eyes flutter open and glance up to find Finn still fast asleep, his chest steadily moving in and out as he takes stable breathes. She leans up and places slow, sweet kisses along his jawbone, until finally he wakes, and he looks down at her with heavy eyes.

"Hi…" she whispers before biting her lip playfully.

"Hi," he says, a smile pouring over his lips. "How'd you sleep?"

She takes a deep breath and sighs. "I slept perfectly. How'd you sleep?"

"Better than ever." He licks his lips, suddenly looking concerned. "What time is it…"

Her eyes grow as she realizes where they are and how it's _not_ where they should be. "Oh my god…"

Finn quickly sits up and checks the clock on the nightstand. "Oh my god, it's almost 10:30…"

"What," Rachel blurts out in shock. "Oh my _god_, my dads are going to _kill_ me…"

"Yeah, right after they cut my freakin' thing off," Finn cries.

"Just get up," Rachel answers, flinging the covers off her body and quickly moving out of bed.

The two of them scrabble for their clothes and hurriedly redress, and just as they're ready to make a mad dash out of the room, Finn stops Rachel. "Hey…" She looks up at him as his hand slips around her waist, and with a smile, he leans down and kisses her passionately. "Last night was great."

She grins and gives him another kiss before breathlessly saying, "Come on…"

They hurry down the steps hand in hand, stopping in the kitchen when they see everyone else sitting around the table, enjoying breakfast, and all eyes move to them. "'Bout time," Puck quips.

"Yeah, y'all must be pretty hungry after the night _you_ had," Mercedes chuckles.

"Don't worry; I called everyone's parents last night and made sure you all could spend the night here, so you're good," Quinn assures them, knowing they must be freaking out for not going home last night.

"Oh," Finn smiles relief. "Well, in that case, can I have some of those pancakes?"

He drops Rachel's hand and immediately goes over to the table where Tina's already preparing plates for the happy couple. As he sits and quickly begins devouring the home cooked breakfast, Rachel goes over to Quinn at the counter, where she's cooking more bacon for the group.

"Thanks for calling my dads," Rachel tells her. "_And_ for being so supportive of me and Finn."

"Of course." She glances over to Puck and smiles to herself. "I know you can't help who you love."

"No, you can't," she agrees. "Do you need any help with anything? Although the thought of those poor little pigs that were killed to make that bacon you're frying up kind of makes me want to cry…"

Quinn chuckles and tells her, "I'm ok, thanks…go sit and have something eat."

Rachel goes over to the table, finding that every seat is already taken, but Finn quickly stands and pulls his out for her. "Here, Rach, take my seat. Puck and I are going to go toss the ball around for a bit."

He places a quick kiss on her cheek before going out the door behind Puck, following him around to the backyard near the lake. "So how was _your_ night last night," Puck laughs, tossing him the ball.

Finn chuckles, reaching for the ball. "Come on, dude…have I ever told you about our sex life?"

"_No_, but you _should_…I practically taught you everything you know…"

"Not happening," Finn tells him as he's about to throw the ball back his way.

But he immediately pauses when hears Puck say, "So I hear you're writing music now."

"Who told you that," Finn questions.

"I overheard Rachel talking about it with the girls last night when I went to take a piss."

He presses his lips together, confused. "She told them about that?"

"Yeah, and she _also_ told them how you're gonna try for some scholarship so you can go to New York."

"New York," he repeats angrily. "Why the hell would I go to New York?"

"Because Rachel's going back there, dude, and she wants you to be able to go back there with her."

He scoffs, hoping he isn't hearing things right. "She said she's going back to New York?"

"I mean, it's at least a possibility," Puck tells him. "But why wouldn't she?"

Finn drops the ball, shaking his head. "I'm such an idiot…"

He starts walking away, and Puck reaches for him. "Dude, come on, it'll be alright…"

"Tell everyone I had to go," Finn says, and just then Rachel comes outside.

"Hey, we need your help cleaning up breakfast," she says. "Where's Finn?"

Puck looks away, jaw clenched and lips pursed. "He left."

She can easily tell something's wrong. "What happened?"

"I told him about you thinking he might go to New York with you…"

"What," she immediately questions. "Why did you say that?"

"I thought he already knew! Didn't think you'd be stupid enough to keep it a secret a _second_ time…"

"Oh my god, this isn't happening again," she cries. "Puck…can you drive me to the school?"

"The _school_? Shouldn't you be going after Finn right now?"

"I am going after Finn," she answers. "Trust me…that's where he'll be."

* * *

She moves in front of the choir room's door, hearing the soft sound of a few notes playing. She takes a deep breath and slowly walks inside, not surprised that Finn refuses to look at her as she moves toward him. But it'll take a lot more for her to leave than him ignoring her, and she refuses to do so until they finally settle things and truly move on from the past. They need to, if they ever want a future.

"Finn…I don't know what all Puck told you—"

"Everything _you_ should have told me," he sneers.

"You're right…" She looks down, nodding gently. "You should've heard everything from me first. But I hadn't decided anything yet, and I didn't want to ruin things and make you upset for no reason."

"Looks like it happened anyway…" he whispers, his eyes still focused in front of him. "I just…I really thought you were done with New York, especially after everything that happened the first time. But if you want to go, then go…I'm not going to stop you. But don't expect me to just follow after you."

"I _don't_ expect that. I know New York's always been my dream…I don't expect it to be yours too."

"I just want to know what happened," he says, looking up at her for the first time. "Why did you desert us? How could you desert _me_? How could just _leave_ if you really cared about anything here?"

"I knew it," she says, shaking her head. "I _knew_ you weren't really over this…"

"You're right, Rachel, I'm not…and I think I deserve to finally get an explanation. How could you do what you did, especially if you love me as much as you claim you do? How could you do it _again_?"

"It's not that I didn't care, Finn…I was just going after my dream…"

"And what's your dream? What's it always been?" His tone's angrier now. "It's been for you to get out of this town and do something better with your life so that you could feel better about yourself and more worthwhile, because all you've ever wanted was to feel important…to feel _special_, right?"

"I don't…" She covers her face in frustration. "Just say what you want to say, Finn."

"I thought I already made that happen for you, Rachel. I thought you didn't need New York or fame or any of that anymore because I thought I was good enough for you…but I guess I was wrong…"

"Do you really think I'm that _conceited_? Clearly you think I left without giving _any_ thought as to how it would affect you…without caring about you at all, but that's not true, and I wasn't that heartless. And I thought about you every day, and I wanted to _call_ you _every day_ that I was gone, Finn."

"Then why didn't you," he questions hastily. "No, just…why'd you leave without saying a word?"

"I don't…" She didn't plan for this. She didn't how to explain herself. She didn't _want_ to explain herself.

"Just give me an answer, Rachel. Why'd you do it? Why…" She doesn't answer. "_WHY_?"

"Because I knew you'd be the only one who could talk me out of going," she screams. She lowers her head, and tears are already spilling from her tears, dropping to the shined surface of the black piano she clings to. She licks her lips, tasting her tears. "Do you know how long New York has been my dream…"

"Jesus—"

"You want your explanation," she interrupts, looking up at him. "Let me explain."

He sucks his cheeks into his mouth, feeling just as agitated. "Fine."

"Ever since I can remember, I've dreamed of going to New York and becoming a star." She shrugs. "It's the perfect dream, isn't it? It always seemed perfect to me…" She wipes her cheeks dry, removing the indication of her regret. "But then you came into my life, and suddenly all of that didn't mean as much as it used to, and I started wanting other things. But then the scholarship came up, and I asked myself if I was really going to give up the 'perfect dream' and a thrilling life for a high school romance."

He nods slowly, visibly hurt but finally understanding. "I guess that would be pretty stupid."

"No…no, _thinking_ that way was stupid, Finn…" she tells him. "I thought because it _seemed_ better in theory it _was_ better, so I chased after a dream I didn't even want anymore. See, now I dream about going to college with you and then moving somewhere and sharing a home with you…and marrying you and having children with you…" She smiles. "I dream about sharing my life with you and creating these little dreams we can live together. And that may be a simpler dream, but it _is _the perfect dream. _You_ are the perfect dream, Finn, and you are enough for me. You're more than enough for me."

He stares up at her in disbelief. "You really think about all that stuff?"

"Oh…" Did she explain herself _too_ much? "I mean, yes, but…if you don't want that stuff—"

"No, I do," he quickly tells her, and he smiles. "I do."

She comes over to him, and he turns to the side so that they can face one another. "When I was talking to the girls yesterday, I finally realized that everything I want is here. I don't want New York…"

He stares up into her eyes. "Are you sure?" She places a hand on his cheek and leans down to kiss him. After a brief moment, she pulls away with a smile, and he finally smiles back at her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispers happily. She glances toward the piano, seeing his sheet music, and she sits beside him on the bench. "So…are you ready to let me hear this song of yours or what?"

He grins and nods. "Yeah…I think I'm ready…"

Finn begins playing, and after only a few measures Rachel's able to start singing with him, and the song becomes theirs. A year later, they both leave for Kenyon College to study music on scholarship, the first step to making their dream come true, and in the end, they get everything they came to want.

* * *

**Thanks so much to all of you who stuck with me through this...I really appreciate your support and hope you enjoyed this every step of the way! You're all awesome for reading and giving the reviews, alerts and favorites, and I appreciate it all. I've already started writing my next story, which revolves around LC, so if you're also a lover of the people behind the characters, keep an eye out for that one :)**


End file.
